The Philosophy of "Disability"

Simply because one belongs to a particular culture does not mean they ascribe to its values in totality. I myself have cerebral palsy and personal detest the word “disabled” (do not even get me started on the “R” word). Essentially, I can do anything you can do; it may take me longer, I might have to make adjustment or need supports but I have the ability, albeit in a different form.  As such, I much prefer being referred to as “differently-abled”. Of course, that is my preference. However, to most individuals with disabilities this verbiage is not a concern. By the way, I also do not approach people at work and say, “Would you mind not saying ‘disability’ in front of me?”

            I met with client of mine who is deaf a couple of weeks ago. Through an ASL interpreter, I kept using the phrase “hearing-impaired” because I thought that was the preferred term. The interpreter gently told me that the majority of the deaf community prefers to be called just that, deaf. The interpreter further informed me, when you attach the word “impairment” to anything it is seen as a negative and by and large creates a hurtful stigma. I asked the client, “Which do you prefer?” To which he replied, “Don’t care. How about cool guy that can’t hear?”

            Funny, but also telling that no one wants to be saddled by any label, particularly if they do not feel it defines them.  People are far more than one thing. 

Not all disabilities look like this

           

Mass Effect

            Damn, I miss running. I haven't got to go for a run since December 4^th. For those of you playing at home that's a month as I write this. And, as you might imagine, there are some pretty shitty circumstances that forced me to not do one of my favorite activities.  

            See, as a longtime stubborn runner I had been running on a stress fracture in my left foot for, gee no joke about 4 years. The pain kept getting progressively worse, and like a fool I continued to run on it, without doing much to address it. Ahh, who am I kidding, I did nothing to address it! Because, the pain was secondary to my need to run. My need to be out there on the path, the sidewalk, the treadmill. 

            As a result of my own neglect, I went out to run on December 4^th and the pain was so excruciating when I initially stepped off on my left foot that I was limping. However, me being me (stubborn bastard) I still tried to run in defiance of the agony. I made it about ¾ of a mile before I could no longer land on my left foot without the pain stopping me in my tracks every other step. I crept back to the house, in my mind defeated, in pain and already feeling depressed because I knew finally my neglect meant I would not be running for awhile. I had ignored my body and the warning signs it had been trying to communicate.

            Since then I have tried to switch over to a high protein diet and adopt a more weight-lifting focused exercise regimen. However, this process was somewhat interrupted due to a two week long road trip, and the Christmas holiday. Have you ever tried to eat healthy when your daily calorie intake is coming from Love’s and Pilot truck stops? It’s not impossible, but it certainly is a challenge. Further, have you ever tried to not eat all that deliciously desirable high calorie food on or around Christmas? Again, not impossible, but indulgences are bound to occur here and there. Since 1/1/2018, I have recommitted myself to my healthy eating and workout regimen. As of that date, I weighed in at 195.6 lbs and a 39 inch waist. This is particularly concerning to me as it is the heaviest I have been since losing about 90 lbs the year I graduated high school (253 to 163 approximately).

            Present day, I sit here banging away on this keyboard, desperately wanting to work out, but I’m again a victim of my own ignorance. I woke up this morning with a back so stiff and pain-ridden that it took me 10 minutes to get myself out of bed.  It seems the L3 and L4 vertebrae in my back don’t like moving furniture alone, I guess they miss the cartilage that used to help them get along better. Yes, I am a fool, as moving furniture is something I also did over the Christmas break. Then in spite of that, I continued my weight lifting regimen even though my back was already tweaked as a result. Alas, no workout today, my spine has spoken. In case you’re wondering, I feel guilty about that, even though I have worked out every day this week and stuck to my diet without incident.

            Now I find those devious thoughts creeping up in my mind: Have a burger, you’ll feel better! You’re not working out today why don’t you relax a little and have a beer- after all you can’t work out, and it’ll dull the pain in your back!

            So what is the point of all this? Well, clearly it’s a self-serving pity fest designed to let me bitch and moan about my own circumstances.

            But it is also something more than that…it’s my not giving in. I haven’t caved, or sacrificed myself to temptation and self-loathing. I won’t be sneaking through the McDonald’s drive thru and greedily smear grease-covered French fries into my waiting maw.  I will not beat myself up for missing a workout. I won’t justify a beer, or a Jack and Coke. I will sit here, I will heal and I will be back at it tomorrow with the same focus that I have had all week.

            And for those of you that as of January 4^th find yourself in a similar predicament regarding your New Year’s resolution to get fit, feel free to recite the above paragraph if you need motivation to keep up the momentum.

            I wish all of you readers out there good luck in your goals for 2018, whatever they may be!

Trauma vs. Resiliency (Macro vs. Microaggressions, Pt 1 of 2)

Part I - Macro vs. Microaggressions

“I am a Social Worker. I am not a Social Justice Warrior.”

That statement may make some social workers squirm, and that is intended. The lot of us have become to distracted by lines of language to see the full environment. We can’t see the forest for the trees. Or in other words, we can’t pinpoint the aggression for the microaggression.

I believe that we have become too focused within our profession on the idea that microaggressions are overly responsible for the erosion of an individual’s self-esteem or sense of self-worth ( http://www.socialwork.career/2011/07/what-are-microaggressions.html ).

When this term was first introduced, it was used to describe interactions between people that purposefully (or otherwise) demeaned a “minority”, typically verbal exchanges. More recently, the term has taken on a more generic meaning and has been applied to everyday insults and superficial comments made from anyone in a majority group to outside of that group, about anything disparaging (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/microaggressions-in-everyday-life/201011/microaggressions-more-just-race ).

These “everyday slights,” as they are often referred, are then stated to be the chisel that gradually chips away at our mental health, causing depression, anxiety and other issues.

As someone with a life-long disability I have endured many of these microaggressions. While my opinion of these is admittedly anecdotal, rather than empirical, my opinion still stands: they are overblown, overemphasized by psychologists, psychiatrists, and other medical professionals, and gobbled up by social workers as the bullets that penetrate the self-worth and determination of our disenfranchised populations. This medicalization and “clinicalization” of trauma tends to focus more on the potential damage done to a person, rather than their ability to overcome the trauma. Specifically, this approach to “science” is socially constructed based on societal values (http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15622970500483110?journalCode=iwbp20 ).

At any rate, personally, these glib comments have barely held me back a moment, let alone a lifetime. Truth be told, they’ve done nothing but strengthen me. They’ve been the fire that’s burned within me to prove people wrong, to rise above.

Meanwhile, there are millions of people in this world that deal with legitimate toxic trauma every day. Sexual assault, physical assault, drug abuse and addiction, any and all manner of victimization and many others...these are the areas where time and energy and healing need to be focused.