As most of you that live and breath in this world are likely already aware, common courtesy ain’t so common. Yes it’s true, it’s true, much like much like the ever elusive common sense, common courtesy seems to be in short supply.
I’m sure I am not the first person to notice this, but what concerns me isn’t that I’ve noticed it at all, it’s the fact that I feel like people are disregarding it more often.
Now I will admit that this could be because of all my highfalutin Social Work schoolin’ but regardless, the lack of simple acts of decent behavior towards others has become more of a concern to me as of late.
I can tell you that I am more aware of people stepping onto an elevator (or the light rail) without waiting for those exiting to get clear, doors not being held open for others (and I don’t mean just women), and of course people’s atrocious driving habits.
That’s not all, obviously there are a hundred more examples out there that I’m sure you and I could point to ad nauseum in order to complement those I’ve already mentioned.
The question is twofold in my mind: 1) What draws us to disregard others so blatantly in some cases? and 2) What can we do to curb it?
Before I can answer that, let me be clear that I am not envisioning some moronic utopia (or dystopia, depending on your point of view) where we are bending over backwards and kissing everyone else’s ass. I’m just looking for a little bit of leeway in this regard.
So to begin; why are we so callous in our daily living?
I think this is the answer easily found: We are by nature self-absorbed. We humans, by and large are only concerned with our fate, our appointment, our schedule and our schemes. By extension, we may be peripherally invested in the welfare of those we are close to (family, friends etc.) but sadly, when push comes to shove we are all looking at our own progress with tunnel vision. We are focused only on that most current goal, whether it’s a destination, meeting time, or some larger objective. Our target is the light at the end of the tunnel. Sewer rats also do this.
Catch my drift?
Some of us might even have the skewed perception that something as mundane as to give up a seat on a bus for an elderly person is a sign of weakness, or at the least violates the old adage of “I was here first”. If you have read any of my ramblings before, you know I take issue with people that have confused being tough with being an asshole, I think that applies here as well, maybe more than we’d like to admit.
But to state it plainly, we have selfish tendencies.
Which brings us to #2; how do we combat this?
Everybody be cool.
Simple in theory, this one, but in practice not so much. It takes concentrated effort to be considerate of someone else’s feelings, space, rights, thoughts, beliefs. It’s almost counter-intuitive to put someone else’s welfare before your own. Chalk that up to a millennium of ancestors whose two main concerns were walking upright and self-preservation I suppose.
At any rate, this one comes down to thinking before you act- yes, yes I realize that everyone (myself included) loves to turn down the volume on their brains and rely on auto pilot. However, trust me, if you are actively focused on the environment around you, you are naturally going to become more aware of those around you, and how simple, everyday acts that require very little effort can help make everyone around us a bit more comfortable, and that’s not a bad thing.
Bundled with this awareness of others is another enemy of common courtesy; rushing. We could all use a little slow the fuck down.
I struggle with this myself, but everyone gets caught up in the moment and what the end result should be for them. Sometimes, I personally get so tangled in my own thoughts and to-do list that my regard for others goes right out the window (If I cut you off in traffic, it was my type A personality, and I’m sorry!).
I guess we can end with the summation of: Don’t be a dick.
There you have it, we’ve just solved all of the world’s most minor problems, now everything else should just fall into place.
That’s it for this week, gotta go, I have to go to the grocery store, buy 40 items and cut in front of a lady purchasing only 2 things in the express lane.
