The below is an actual assignment for one of my
300 level college courses. We were asked to introduce ourselves to the rest of
the class in a creative way...Since my fellow classmates didn't take the time
to fully appreciate this, I thought I'd share it here...Enjoy!
The most
non-traditional of the non-traditional students is David Scott, and Rolling
Stone had the chance to catch up with him as he prepared for the launch of his
Spring semester. We were able to sit down with the underwhelming undergrad
himself and get his take on a few key questions:
RS: Not too many
students name their Spring semesters David, why did you name yours, and tell us
exactly what “B.Y.O.B” means?
DS: I think in
order to fully commit myself to this semester, the serious student, artist,
deep thinker such as myself needs a theme they can commit to, and maybe even
aspire to. “B.Y.O.B.” is exactly that, it’s here, it’s loud, and it’s in your
face. It’s so many things it defies labels. But if I were to put a label on
it-and I’m going to- I’d say it’s contemporary…to the point that it’s retro.
RS: So it has
something for every generation?
DS: Well, ya
sure, I mean I’m a 36 year old student, with an awesome girlfriend and four
occasionally horrible pain in the butt dogs, who got sick and tired of the
greed and corruption of the corporate world man. I, I just said enough man! And
then decided to major in Social Work, ‘cause like who needs money man?
RS: Wait, what?
Sorry, let’s back up, what exactly does “B.Y.O.B.” stand for?
DS: Oh ya,
sorry…”Bring Your Own Brain” It’s like who needs Google, or Wikipedia. It’s
like getting back to the roots of studying- spiral notebook, pencil, textbook.
And you know, just shut up and learn.
RS: Ok and when
does “B.Y.O.B” drop?
DS: Oh, it done
dropped! I mean we are living it right now, Spring 2017 semester has started!
RS: And you’ll
be touring to promote “B.Y.O.B”?
DS: You call it
‘touring’ I call it ‘going to class’ but yes, I have some appearances planned.
RS: Now that
we’ve got business out of the way, tell us more about the real David, behind
the scenes?
DS: There’s not
a lot to it really. I mean my goal is to make the Dean’s list every semester
until I graduate with honors. Rock my placement at DCS through the stipend
program and then build and position my brand so I can take over the world.
RS: And in a
David-controlled world what could fans look forward to?
DS:
Merchandising.
RS:
Merchandising?
DS: Yes, I’m
talking David Scott products
in every consumer category known to humankind! Lunchboxes, non-smoking
ashtrays, key chains, pre-flushing toilets, dry towelettes, energy drinks,
bacon- flavored dog treats, mouse-flavored cat treats, hardhats, placemats—
RS: David-
DS: Doormats-
RS: David!
DS: Floor mats-
RS: DAVID!
DS: Hazmats-
RS: DAVID! Stop
please, let’s get back on track?
DS: Certainly,
what else would you like to know?
RS: How does
Criminal Justice factor into all this?
DS: Batman.
RS: I’m sorry?
You decided to Minor in Criminal Justice because of Batman?
DS: No, because
I AM Batman!
RS: …That’s not
true. Is it?
DS: No…but it
sounds cool, eh?
