My girlfriend and I recently went on a trip to Washington State for the graduation from her Master's program at Gonzaga. Below are the actual directions I left for our new dog sitter. I thought they were worth a chuckle, so I thought I'd share them here, enjoy!
Welcome to the wonderful world of dog sitting!
Welcome to the wonderful world of dog sitting!
We hope you enjoy your stay here and have compiled this list
of simple, easy to follow directions that will ensure that your stay is as
amazing as it can be.
I.
The Dogs
a.
Medicine – Cali (the short haired dachshund)
gets 2 pills every twelve hours
i.
Furosemide (1/2 tablet), Enalapril
ii.
These can be wrapped in a small piece of sliced
cheese and given to her before breakfast and about an hour after dinner.
b.
Breakfast
i.
Gretchen (the cutest, best behaved dog ever)
gets 3 scoops of food
ii.
Deiter (the furry curmudgeon) gets 1 full scoop
iii.
Cali gets ½ scoop (she had the some cheese
earlier, if you recall)
c.
Dinner
i.
Gretchen (the cutest, best behaved dog ever)
gets 3 scoops of food
ii.
Deiter (the furry curmudgeon) gets 1 full scoop
iii.
Cali gets ½ scoop (she will have some cheese
later, if you recall)
d.
Water
i.
They all drink from the same water dispenser
ii.
It holds about 4-5 days water, but if it gets
too cumbersome to fill, there’s a regular white water dish in the garage on top
of the dog crates
iii.
WARNING- Gretchen tends to not drink enough and
then over-drink, she will usually have a bit of reflux right after drinking,
this is normal, nothing to be worried about
iv.
WARNING II – Gretchen drools a lot after
drinking, your pant legs have been warned
e.
Function Breaks
i.
All three dogs will typically go outside right
after eating
ii.
We recommend letting them out right before bed
(Cali may have to be coaxed)
1.
They will expect a small treat (few bites of
kibble) only after all three are inside for the night
f.
Treats
i.
At some point in the evening, usually after
going outside, around 7pm they can have a biscuit or bacon treat
1.
Gretchen (the cutest, best behaved dog ever) 1-2
biscuits
2.
Deiter (the furry curmudgeon) gets 1 biscuit
3.
Cali gets ½ biscuit
4.
Gretchen and Deiter can be instructed to sit
before receiving their treats
a.
WARNING – Deiter can snap at fingers though he doesn’t
mean to (poor eyesight) we recommend dropping his treat in front of him
g.
Character flaws
i.
All three dogs lick their paws, we find this
annoying, you will too. If you shout at them to stop, they will, for about 30
seconds. Feel free to shout again.
ii.
Milking – Gretchen may “milk” her blanket (blue
Star Wars M&M blanket), this is a coping mechanism for anxiety, her and her
therapist are working on it, but until then, it can be considered normal behavior.
iii.
Gretchen sometimes jumps, do not be afraid to
push her off and tell her “No!”– she’s hardy and can take it.
iv.
Gretchen (sensing a pattern here?) will bark at
you when you arrive, calm down and then bark at you later on when she remembers
you’re here. This is triggered by you doing mysterious things like, coming out
of a bedroom, walking down the hall, or breathing.
h.
Sleeping
i.
All three dogs sleep in our room, though this
changes depending on who’s staying with them
ii.
If they take a liking to you, all three may try
to curl up with you at some point. Do not feel obligated if you do not want
them to. NO MEANS NO.
III.
That’s basically it
a.
Help yourself to any food, beverages etc. that
you need while you’re here.
b.
Thank you from the both of us for looking after
the mutts and the dump!
c.
In case of emergency
i.
David – 555-1234
ii.
Sarah – 555-4321
iii.
Seriously though, if there’s an actual “emergency”
call 911, and fill us in after
