I was recently out for a run and was heading back home.
About a half mile from my house I looked up to see this young couple strolling
on the sidewalk about 30 yards ahead. As I was preparing to politely yell
something like “Passing on your right.” or “Hey move the fuck over morons.” The
male, a tall lanky looking fellow in clothes that were at least a day old
pitched a giant wad of trash into the bushes next to him.
Now I know
most wouldn’t have cared, probably wouldn’t even have noticed it at all. However,
being that I recently moved into this area I have a vested interest in seeing
that property values aren’t diminished, I had to act- plus littering is a foul
and rude behavior. But what could I say, how could I possibly interact with
these total strangers that might persuade them against future inappropriate trash
disposal?
Before I
realized it my legs began kicking even harder, and immediately I was caught up
to them. Almost to my surprise I had retrieved the garbage the male had discarded
so carelessly. My mouth was already moving, “Hello there!” Making sure I had
gotten their attention, I slowed as I approached them, smiling brightly, “My
friend I think you dropped this.”
The
young man’s face turned bright red, “Umm, oh ya…sorry.” He grabbed the trash
from my hand. His female companion’s stunned look said more than words could. I
could almost read her thoughts. Who the
hell does this guy think he is, Captain Planet?
“You two
have a great rest of the day!” with those words I took off in a sprint.
“Ya,
sure.” The young man muttered, staring at the trash in his hand with disbelief,
the same trash he had thrown street-side barely a minute ago.
The down
side was that as I headed on to finish my run, I had a disgusting realization. You
see, at first glance the item of trash appeared to be an empty fast food
wrapper. But after handing it back to the guy, I understood what it was due to its
sopping wet and somewhat greasy-sticky nature- a used makeshift tissue.
Upon
this revolting discovery, I finished my last half mile with my left hand raised
by my side, as if I was waiting for some unseen teacher to call on me. When I finally
arrived home, arm aching from the exercise, I washed it for 30 minutes in scalding
water and used every brand of soap in the house. Then for good measure, I
soaked it in Purell for 20 more minutes.
So what
happened after that? Truth is, I don’t know. Likely, the guy flipped me the
bird as I turned away from him, and threw the damn snot rag back in the bushes
from where I had gotten it. Although, I’d like to think we both learned a
valuable lesson from the interaction:
…One man’s trash, is another man’s poor
decision?…let sleeping trash lie? A booger in the hand is worth two in the
bush?...
…Or
something to that effect.
At any
rate, if I ever find myself in that situation again, I think I will just
respond normally. That’s to say; by screaming profanities and threats at the
litterbug until they relent and pick up their own damn trash.
