I enjoyed stroking it, the act had a calming effect. Just
touching it seemed to help me think. I would wash it with great care, lathering
on a specialized moisturizing product made from African shea butter after each
shower.
Oh, and did I mention I’m
completely bald? So you might be wondering at this point just what the hell I’m
talking about. Likely, if you are anything like me your mind is drifting
towards the gutter. But hold that thought, I’ll give you another hint: I’m talking
about something that most everyone most directly equates with a man’s manly
essence, his machismo if you will.
I’m talking about my beard of
course.
I recently took the facial hair
plunge and grew out my beard (a grand red-brown specimen about two inches in
length in my humble opinion) for a period of two months. I was surprised by a
few things, and disgusted by others. I’ll
Masculinity can be linked to a lot
of things by a lot of different people. In addition to what’s desirable. I had
no preconceived notions on what people; male or female, might think about my
beard-pediment. First, my girlfriend is used to me having facial hair, my
trademark look is typically mustache with a petit goatee, so her reaction was
sort of a nonevent. By the way, fellas for those that don’t know, most women
don’t mind facial hair, they mind the growth process wherein your face is akin
to a Brillo pad.
The “adoring” public was a
different story. Now I will preface this by saying, I am not the type of guy
that gets approached by affectionate women on a given day. Having a full beard
didn’t change that. AT ALL.
What did change as a result was more attention
from like-minded gentlemen. On several
occasions I would get “the dude nod”- it’s a form of unspoken communication
between males when they respectfully admire an aspect of another man. Sounds ridiculous I know, but trust me, I
have had tattoos for several years, and I’ve caught guys staring at them, when
out and about, or at the gym. The same could be said about Beardy- what that’s the nickname I gave my beard? Don’t judge me! It’s
my facial hair I can do what I want!
On two rare occasions guys actually
complemented me on my beard, I grunted in acknowledgement. Not going to lie,
the compliment felt good. But I wasn’t sure how to follow it up; Thanks complete stranger, I like that, umm
err, random t-shirt with Captain America’s shield on it you have going on over
there too.
As far as drawbacks, there were
only two…
One, was running with a beard.
While I’m sure in the seventies during the running craze, lots of manly, active
runners sported everything from pornstaches to full on grizzly bear facial
hair, for me it was not a fun experience.
So you might fully understand, running on a treadmill with a full beard
is like wearing a headband for an hour run. Then thirty minutes into it, you
decide to pull what is now a sweat soaked rag down around and over your mouth.
Pretty disgusting right?
The second drawback for me was the
maintenance. Those of you that recall that I am bald, might think I would jump
at the chance to have at least some morning hair routine. But no, it got to be
every day I was trimming this, combing that, styling and lathering and applying
mystical butter to my face. It was just too much. Being bald is just too damn
convenient, and I’m too used to it.
All this being said, it was worth a
try. However, I’m definitely ready to return to my normal look. Sorry guy with
the Captain America t-shirt.
