Job Hunt

            Shh. Don’t make a sound! There it is in the distance. It’s a job…Oh my, it’s a beaut’! Wonderful benefits, amazing pay, and oh my- could it be? It has weekends off!

            No for Christ Sake’s don’t move- you’ll spook it! Stay still; let me handle this I’ve got just the thing to take ‘er down. What is it you ask? My fully loaded tactical resume. It’s got enough qualifications and near-fantasy bragging to put down any job.

             Ok I’ve got to wait for just the right moment. Hold your breath. Ready. Aim. Fire!

            Oh hell, that shot went wide. Really, really wide. And…yep I’ve spooked it, there it goes.

            It’s gone. And oh, wait someone else got it to boot.

            Shit, oh well let’s hunker down and wait for another…

            So, as you might’ve guessed from reading the above I’ve been job hunting, and it’s a lot like what I’ve written. I have a rather impressive (IMHO) resume. The problem is it’s in an industry completely different from where I’m currently looking. And it’s because of this frustration that I feel a rant is in order. I think we have a highly outdated and ultimately archaic method to recruit, hire and maintain talent in our society. And here are the top 5 things I just don’t get about job hunting and hoops that employers make potential employees go through to get that ever elusive job:

5)  Never taking a chance on a “different” candidate

Hire. Resign. Repeat. This is typical of most high turnover workplaces and it means that employers are in a constant state of flux; training, rehiring and the like. But why?

My theory is that it’s because they are conditioned to hire what looks good on paper, but never works out in reality (that whole theory vs. practice thing). Certain jobs take certain types of mentalities, that’s no secret, but some skills are usually also in line with particular personalities and character types. The aloof person may not be the best at detail-hearty tasks. Likewise, the polished multi-tasker may not be able to sit and focus on one repetitive thing with nothing else to occupy their mind. This isn’t wrong or right, but it can lead to getting the same stagnant “type” in a position, and that may also lead to finding a replacement due to this ill-suited individual seeking a more appropriate position for themselves elsewhere.  

4)  Not realizing skills are transitional from one environment to another

Twenty years of work experience is a twenty years of work experience, with few exceptions. I don’t believe that years selling cars qualifies you to perform brain surgery, but I do believe that critical thinking, problem solving and a strong work ethic is universal. Employers tend not to see a good candidate that may need some refining to familiarize themselves with operating procedure, but once that’s done those years of experience (even in another industry) are like rocket fuel. You get a great payoff for minimal investment because a talented person can transition their strengths into varying areas.  

3)  Interviews where nearly everything involved is fake

What is the main determining factor in getting a job in today’s workplace? Ah, that’s right the interview. That act where the potential hire dresses in clothes they likely wouldn’t normally wear, answers inane prepared questions they’ve probably either researched or answered a dozen times in another interview and acts like they are nice and generally care about a company and a cause. Seems like a great way to select someone who is going to ultimately be a letdown, or at the very least, not what you expected based on a first impression.

Why not have a candidate job shadow for a couple hours? See what the job actually entails versus a perfectly crafted HR description that always ends with “other duties as assigned” anyway.  Think of it; your potential candidate gets a first look at the way the company runs on a typical day, and you (or an employee) can see their willingness to assist, ask questions, discuss the business, or even offer different perspective on operational tasks.

2) No follow up

We’ve all had this happen to us, you crafted your resume, you wore your best outfit, you bathed and even answered all the right questions in all the right ways. But alas, the phone never rings. You botched something? Interviewer didn’t like your tie or handbag? You dinged the boss’ car on the way out of the parking lot?
If you were impressive, or at least impressive enough to get a call for an interview, why no follow up on what was lacking? Now granted the first thing a hiring manager will say is that they do not have the time to contact a dismissed candidate and help them figure out what dots didn’t get connected. However, I would argue the opposite; you don’t have the time not to. If you, as a hiring manager, are picking unsuitable candidates based on resumes that don’t live up to their potential in person, than my guess is your going to be spending a great deal of time spinning your wheels in that interview room, and beyond that, looking for new candidates after the current crop exit due to lack of job satisfaction or fit (see #5).

Think of it this way, perhaps that guy or gal that you felt wouldn’t have made the best contracts clerk, would be a good fit for another position that happened to open up after the fact? There, you just saved yourself some time, and helped develop a better method to help you recognize who might be better suited for a particular role.

1) Filling out an online resume (or paper resume) when I’ve just given you a copy of my resume!

This is the biggest waste of time on both the employer’s side and the prospective employee. If you’re online and you’re filling out an application and you attach your resume, why on God’s green mud ball do you need to then spend the next hour filling in those same details in tiny little boxes on several different pages of the application?

This goes double for any employer that still utilizes paper applications. Just read my damn resume- after all that’s why I put it together!

Besides, you will learn more from me by way of the personal style indicated in my resume than you will from me writing in fill in the blank answers on some bureaucratic form.

Ok, there that’s it, that’s my big five…and by the lack of activity in my bank account I know that I still don’t have a steady paycheck coming in, so I better get back out on the hunt.

            Wish me luck, and thanks for reading!