Of all
the friends I’ve had in life television was my first. After a long day at
elementary school nothing was more relaxing than getting home, finishing my
school work and getting to watch TV. He-Man,
DuckTales, G.I. Joe, Looney Tunes-
and that was just a few of the cartoons. There were also game show reruns, heck
I’d even watch Square One on PBS (Anyone
else remember Mathnet? Yes? No? Maybe?).
The
stories, the antics of the characters, the not-so-subtle indoctrination of the
mind of a child (I’m talking to you G.I.
Joe ya preachy bastards!). I loved it all, and reveled in the escape it
gave me.
In a
strange way it was almost like I’d accomplished something by my show even being
on in the first place. For anyone near my age, this is akin to catching “your”
song on the radio and running to get a cassette tape in order to get it
recorded.
Nowadays
things are different. We have the option of dozens of regional cable companies,
DIRECTV, Netflix and a myriad of other streaming and on demand and DVR services.
If I don’t want to I never have to be seated on my couch when my favorite show
airs in order to see it play.
I also
can digest with my eyes and ears an entire season, or the entire full length
run of a show in a weekend if I want to completely become a shut in and forego
bathing.
However,
as of about 2 months ago my girlfriend and I decided to drop our cable service and
just go with Netflix and Hulu.
Because
of this my view of television has changed a bit. I no longer feel like my
Sunday revolves around what Rick Grimes may do this evening vs. what I could be doing. There’s a certain
level of freedom that comes with being disconnected from the box. I get what I want
out of television, but it’s on my terms. In addition, I’ve discovered new shows
that I would’ve never gotten to enjoy if it wasn’t for severing the cable/dish umbilical
cord (Bojack Horseman, and Daredevil
come immediately to mind).
There are
a few things I don’t miss at all…
1) Blocks of endless commercials – I have already
been brainwashed by some of the biggest brands on the planet, this mind control
has been in effect for years. They got me early. I am not switching sodas, cell
phones or even laundry detergent. Speaking of I need a Coca-Cola...Always Coca-Cola…Always Coca-Cola…
2)
The cost –
No other way to say it, DirecTV is damn expensive, and the favorite chunk of my
income is the disposable part.
3)
Shitty
Customer Service – I haven’t had to complain to Netflix, well about anything
really, and I likely never will. They’ve never put me on hold, or made me press
a series of numbers in order to get to a representative who clearly from their
tone despises my very existence. It’s a simple service leaving little that can
go wrong.
Oddly
enough other than the two exceptions I mentioned I’ve largely been catching up on
shows I never got to see through to the end (Deadwood anyone?). And the weirdest thing of all is what I miss the
most about pay TV…
1)
Every
Simpsons Episode Ever (and always, whether you want it or not) - I miss
seeing season 3 episode 6 of The Simpsons
for the 14th time just because FXX puts it on what seemed to be an every
night rotation for 2 solid weeks.
2)
Channel
Surfing – Sometimes I just want to watch everything, and nothing. Think of
it as going on an aimless walk around your neighborhood in your underwear while
eating Doritos. Kidding of course, underwear isn’t even a requirement.
3)
Having it
on to have someone in the room - I miss not being able to turn on the TV
and immediately hear and see something…anything!
I don’t care if it’s Bill O’Reilly droning on about his preference on what he perceives
to be an important current event, while talking over his guests. Okay, that’s
not true, but I do miss TV as background noise.
Alright, enough of this reading and writing stuff – it’s as
dumb as it is stupid. Time to go watch my 16th consecutive episode
of Archer in the last 24 hours.
