Friday, October 30, 2015

The Not-So Common Cold

I am a dynamo, beast mode is engaged, a powerhouse, a juggernaut- nothing can stop me, except when I have a cold.
                
                Which I currently do. The timing is horrible (it always is, right?). Recently moved, there’s so much to do with the house and getting it set up. I am behind at school, and ramping up to start a new volunteer gig. But what brought on this cold?
                You might think it was something simple; shaking hands with any of the delivery, or other workers that have been to the house this week. A cashier handing me change that was touched by the…ugh… infected (We’re ALL infected ya know?). Unfortunately,  I believe it to be more complicated than that however. I’ve rounded up the suspects, and they are as follows:
                Century Link, yes the internet provider and television and telephone company. They helped give me this damnable cold. How can Century Link, the benevolent provider of all those wonderful services that bring entertainment and convenience to our lives possibly be behind my getting a cold? The answer is simple: Century Link is the devil. In order not to target specific employees (because I don’t believe it’s any individual’s fault for an entire organizations shitty infrastructure) I will just say the company as a whole would do well to remove its abnormally sized head from its ass.

                And in dealing with them on Sunday, Monday and Thursday, that had two downstream impacts: 1) Stress 2) No internet access.
                Because I lacked internet access I fell even further behind on my math course work this week.
                Which brings me to my next culprit: Polynomials. For those of you that are blessed and do not know what a polynomial is, I will enlighten you. A polynomial is an algebraic expression that is made up of more than one term. Sounds innocent enough, right? Wrong, turns out polynomials are actually stitched into the lining of all the robes ever worn by the KKK- seriously, Google it. Beyond that I simply don’t understand them. And don’t get me wrong, I understand their purpose. I mean after all if I ever want to calculate the trajectory of a baseball that was thrown straight up in the air, in order to determine how long it will be in the atmosphere given the speed at which it was heaved, than hey, polynomials are a life necessity. Right up there with food, water and shelter.
                Lastly, and perhaps most important, I been feeling the effects of age on my body. I think I am just past those days where I was able to bounce back from anything. I fear my resilience is fading. These days my shoulder, back, neck and hamstring ache after years of abuse, misuse, and overuse (scapula, L4 vertebrae, C3 vertebrae, biceps femoris- take that Anatomy class!).  
                With moving and everything else going on,  my body seems easily susceptible to a cold bug. So I’m tired, therefore I am sick. And I’m sick and tired of it all.
                Or perhaps I’m just being dramatic, the Dayquil affecting my brain chemistry. It’s just a cold, just a class, just a grade. And for God’s sake it’s just the internet. Like always I will rise above, but right now I think I’ll curl up with the heating pad and take a nap.