I’ve always been the type of person that the weirdos come to
in order to vent. Believe me, this is not necessarily a good thing. That’s
because there is no shortage of the absolute inane, ridiculous and sometimes offensive
strings of words that fall from people’s mouths.
Maybe, this sort of thing happens
to me just as much as everyone else, and I just pick up on it more. Honestly, I’m
not sure the cause, but the effect is pretty hilarious or at least interesting.
So with that here are a few exchanges,
and even some overheard items, that I’ve had the awkward pleasure of hearing….
Scene- Target, in line
at the cashier stand as she’s ringing up my items.
Cashier: (as she looks me up and
down) “Where’d you get all those nerdy tattoos?”
v
Scene- Sitting in the
commons area studying, nearby group of female students are chatting, and I overhear
the following…
Co-ed: “It’s weird how like, I’m in almost, like, all of my memories and stuff.”
v
Scene- Chatting with a
co-worker; a mature white woman, engages me in conversation after I tell her I’m
in college…
Co-worker:
“It’s just a pleasure to have a fellow intellectual here.” (begins whispering) “I
mean it’s so much better than the typical blue collar Mexican that they usually
fill these positions with.”
Me: “Oh,
perhaps I should tell you my full name; David Bending RodrÃguez.” (extending my
hand)
v
Scene- in class during
a lecture. The teacher is discussing what it means to be poor in America, and
the stigmas associated with it…
Teacher:
“Be honest, would you date a guy or a gal that drove a Pinto?" (looking around) "Well
wait, do any of you know what a Pinto is?”
Eager
girl in front row: “A bean?”
v
Scene- on the light
rail in the afternoon. The car is crowded with high school kids and I’m
listening to three teenage boys discuss the following…
Needs
a Hug Teen: “So it’s like a stuffed animal, but its better.”
Financially Conservative Teen: “But it’s so expensive.”
Financially Conservative Teen: “But it’s so expensive.”
Skeptical Teen: “You
don’t even have the money for it.”
Needs a Hug Teen:
“I don’t care, I don’t care. I’m saving up for it.”
Skeptical Teen: “Why?”
Needs a Hug
Teen: “Because it might be forty dollars but it’s a huge bear, I mean like its arms
are so big that when you hug it, it hugs you back.”
