If you could go back and do it all again differently, would
you?
I think the easy answer to this is yes. We as human are sometimes
haunted by our mistakes. Some of us are plagued by financial or professional
failures, personal shortcomings, botched relationships, or simply bad
decisions. People often view these experiences as so negative that they are like
their own shadow following them. No matter where you end up in the light, it
trails behind you.
But what would going back and doing it again actually
accomplish?
It would of course alter anyone you’ve interacted with, and
the memories and experiences they would have with and of you. Likely, this is
the noblest intent in wishing you could start again from some point in the
past. Maybe you’d choose to spare the feelings of a loved one, stop an instance
of infidelity before it ever started, keep your mouth from saying something
hurtful, or simply speak up on someone’s behalf that needed it when you had
remained silent before.
In this manner I think that makes a great deal of sense. You
aren’t trying to repeat the past for your own benefit, you are looking out for
those that needed it, defending those that needed protecting- even if that
person that sought to hurt them might’ve been you.
In any other self-serving interest I don’t think I’d bite at
the opportunity to “do it all again”. The reason is simple; I like who I am today. That person wouldn’t
exist if decisions were made differently, or not made at all. Granted, that
means I am content with having dealt with all the heartache, uncertainty,
sadness, unenviable circumstances and rough times that have been afforded to me
over the years.
At a basic level, just think of the things you’ve overcome… hard
times lived through… days you became stronger as a result of… Would you seriously
want to deny yourself that knowledge and growth, only to make an easier path?
Every memory, each experience -whether shaded in sorrow, or
colored with fondness- helped to build who I am. Because without these events I
would be a version of myself, but I wouldn’t be this version of myself. And frankly, I’m not perfect, but I kind of
like this guy.
Remember that no one’s lived a faultless or flawless life. Though
that is offset by the lessons learned from any time I’ve missed the mark. For
me there may be regret, there’s no desire to turn back.
