It must
be a hard life when you have little to no sense of humor. Worse yet must be
those who have friends who are religiously committed to being serious, the type
that are perpetually unfunny, and wouldn’t know a joke if was written by Sam Kinison,
delivered by Johnny Carson as a guest character on The Simpsons and then showed up in their Facebook feed as part of a
meme about not knowing a damned joke was in the first place.
A hard
life indeed.
I don’t
know what these people do in life, but I can speculate: They don’t laugh as
much as the rest of us, they don’t find humor in nearly all (ok actually all) aspects of life, and they
are probably really stressed out most of the time. Oh, and they are constipated-
granted I’ve nothing to base this on, but I’m just throwing it out there that
they can’t be regular, can they?
A few
things though are tell-tale about the lifestyles of these sad sacks and how
they spend their free time.
Psst, this is the part where I call out
people for participating (or failing to participate) in things I don’t like, or
have no interest in.
1)
Cards Against Humanity
a.
Now I can already tell that I’ve struck a nerve
with some of you. I get it, it’s a popular game, manufactured by a great team
of people who donate to charity (If you consider Wikipedia “charity”). But I don’t
give a shit. The premise of this game to me screams “I am not witty enough to
say anything funny on my own, so let me string a few random things together and
see what happens…” (draws cards) “Harry Potter, testicular cancer, teabagging.
Am I funny? Someone tell me I’m funny?”
b.
Further, I also think those that are seriously
into this game have been either stifled creativity-wise as children or Mom and
Dad never let an off color word fly in their household growing up. Either way
they are dying for attention.
2)
They can’t make conversation
a.
You ever sat next to that person on a plane that
you know is just not going to let you have a moment’s peace, because they are
going to talk your damn ear off, and you are oh-so-very-sorry for making eye
contact with them by accident when you first boarded.
Well, that person is an asshole, and turns out rare. So if I’m traveling
alone, I’d much rather take the chance of running into Chatty Charlie than
reading a book, or screwing around with my phone (which I’ll get to in a
moment)- and this is coming from ME – a guy that generally dislikes…oh what are
those things called out there in the world…oh ya- PEOPLE!
But it’s been my experience that most people feign disinterest (sometimes
to the point of being rude) because they can’t actually talk to someone for any
length of time, about something, nothing or anything. Granted, this is arguably
a skill that is fading the world over with the increasing pressure to be social
only through media and connect via technology rather than in person, but I digress.
3)
Cell Phone Love
a.
You’ve seen them, those lost souls with their
craned necks and bad posture, staring dismally as they try to focus their eyes
on a small, dim screen permanently attached to their fingertips. Talk about the
walking dead…and to add to that actual factual science has now found that
people that overly employ their cell phones as entertainment may lose the
ability to entertain themselves without one.
This one’s hard to refute folks- you can argue with me about Cards and
Conversation because that’s just me ranting about stuff (It’s my blog, it’s the
internet, where else am I supposed to complain?) but this is actual scientific
research! Science, that thing you’d never thought you’d use after you
graduated. No wait that was math. Anyway, if you want to read it for yourself,
click HERE.
In the end,
I realize that everyone has his or her own talent to draw from, but for the
sake of the rest of us, those of you that have an underdeveloped sense of humor
need to get out there and exercise it!
