Some establishments have the luxury of standing the test of
time, others transcend this and stand the test of our memory, enduring far
beyond the brick and mortar structures from which they are comprised. A select
few places become legend.
Though
that may not be a good thing…
One
such place is Moderation, a poorly named
dive bar tucked into a seedy corner of an even seedier neighborhood in Gilbert.
If you know the town and your luck runs bad, you may have heard of its debauchery
and perhaps even complimented its wickedness if you were downtrodden enough to
part the door and step inside.
As most
“in the know” residents have come to hear, Moderation was forced to close their
doors at its Gilbert location recently. However, this doesn’t mark the end of
the bar according to former owner Doc Scott, who is quoted as saying, “I will
bring back Moderation. I will continue to lubricate, motivate and venerate the
minds, bodies and souls of sinners everywhere.”
When
asked why he would want to continue to propagate such hedonism, even at his own
expense, Doc Scott simply answered, “Because I can.”
Although,
if Scott plans to revive the ill fated Moderation brand he’ll have to do it
with a yet-to-be-found source of assets, as the bar was recently raided and its
property seized due to Gilbert police’s insistence that the establishment had
become ground zero for what might be Arizona’s largest illegal gambling ring.
When Gilbert police were pressed for answers around what evidence they
recovered from Moderation, and how legal proceedings may unfold, they declined
to comment.
However,
Moderation’s recent troubles are nothing new. Skirting the law, generally flouting
decency, refusal to react the authoritative powers of the community has marked the
bar since its inception. While some may be acquainted with its more recent
history, few understand that the currently-defunct bar actually had its roots established
in Tombstone back in the late 1800’s.
When
first opened in Tombstone by Willie “Don’t turn yer back on ‘im” McGee in March
of 1881, business was brisk, but problems were quick to materialize. While Moderation maintained fewer shootings
than its contemporary counterparts, the damaging medical events that occurred within
its walls were not of the coroner’s ruling of “lead poisoning” as was common at
the time. A different fate befell
customers that locals began to call “Moderation blindness” due to McGee often
cutting the pure liquor with whatever alternative substance he could find. For
McGee, karma came calling that June, in the form of one the many fires that
would attempt to wipe the small mining town off the map for good, when legend
has it that a cigar ignited a barrel of whiskey within the Arcade Saloon, a
short distance from Moderation I.
While
miraculously Moderation wasn’t touched by a single flame during the fire,
rumors swirled that McGee, bartending at his own establishment that night, had
perhaps put a drunken miner up to tossing the lit cigar into the Arcade’s
whiskey supply upon arrival. Perhaps his way of trying to snuff out the
competition. Unfortunately, word got around of McGee’s possible ill-deed and
citizens organized and burned Moderation I to the ground, with him inside.
The
family business was then rebuilt by McGee’s eldest son; Cort “I’m nothing like
my Dad” McGee. The younger McGee ran Moderation II successfully and quietly
until police stormed the property to break up an illegal foot fetish operation.
You see, prostitution was quite legal in Tombstone at the time, but a trade
devoted to foot fetishes was not. To quote one of the city officials at the
time of the raid, “The town of Tombstone condones whorin’ with proper
licensures. However, intercourse in, around and involving the feet is
prohibited. Because, well…that’s just weird.” The bar, and its owner were fined
into oblivion.
The
property then sat empty for several years before being turned into a tourist
attraction during the 50’s and 60’s. Overseen by Wild West Buffoonery LLC, the
bar became a place for mock gun fights and other old western chicanery, for the
amusement of visitors; this was known as Moderation III.
In 1972,
with what would be the 4th iteration of Moderation, WWBLLC opened a 2nd location in
east Tucson and added animatronic gun fighters, much to the delight of children
and adults. While the Tucson location flourished, the company was forced to
close the struggling Tombstone branch.
Shortly
thereafter, Hubert Comradesky was outed as being a communist. Comradesky subsequently
fled the town of Tucson in shame, leaving behind a wife and two children, but
not before selling his animatronics designs to Showbiz Pizza (now Chuck E.
Cheese).
Another
period of dormancy set in for the long enduring Moderation, and it wasn’t until
2013 that Doc Scott entered the picture by accident. While setting up a home
bar, Doc showed his level of sophistication by blatantly stealing the name for
his den of depravity from a scene contained in a book penned by Mary Doria
Russell.
It wasn’t
until Doc reviewed city records indicating that Moderation IV had stood exactly
in the where his new Moderation V had been erected, that Doc further
demonstrated his cruel cunning by having the then widow of Hubert Comradesky (known
as Miriam) sign over all rights to the name “Moderation” to him. Most recount
this occurrence as being under duress, as the widow Comradesky was well into
her eighties at the time and it has been said by Doc himself that he “…plied
her with Skittles and Kool-Aid just to get her alert.”
According
to neighbors, Doc Scott was facing mounting pressure from the family Comradesky
(who have legally changed their name, but do not wish to be on record) and was
forced to leave town. However, Doc claims that he left of his own volition
after realizing he could further corrupt others if his bar was located in a city
with a population that had “a higher sense of self worth, coupled with a lower understanding
of self reliance” so he moved his operation to Gilbert in the fall of 2014.
 |
| 'Moderation 5' as it appeared shortly before closure |
Now at
this juncture we sit and wait to see if Scott’s house of hooch reopens its
doors yet again. Personally, I have a feeling that protestors should be
readying their signs as soon as they finish reading this article...
