Let’s
face it, for some of us the battle of the bulge is an ongoing siege –
particularly this time of year. It’s the choice between tasty or tasteless, decadence
and dull, savory versus insipid. Adhering to a diet can be just plain boring. Edibly
speaking, it gives you nothing to crave, nothing for your taste buds and
appetite to hope for.
When
you’re on it, you are on top of the world. When you fail, you feel miserable
and defeated. Which can lead to more stress eating, as we all know, it’s a vicious
cycle.
So just in the nick of time, before
all those pesky New Year’s Resolutions come due, here are a set of simple rules
that you can follow to know when it’s “OK” to break your typical dietary
regimen.
1) Cheat Meals
Diets are easier to maintain, along
with your sanity if you build in small meals with which to indulge in your
favorite higher calorie dishes. After all, they don’t call them “fidelity meals”
2) You met a fitness goal
You powered through a race for a
PR? You crushed that extra set of crunches? Perfect, skip that extra protein drink
or gel, and drink an ice cold Coca-Cola. Make sure to add extra sugar if it’s
to your liking.
3) You didn’t meet your fitness goal
So maybe you hit a plateau in your
weight loss? Maybe you gained a pound? Show the world that you will not be so
easily defeated by having some cake.
4) When on vacation
Now this includes weekend getaways,
full week adventures and day trips. Also, trips to any and all grocery stores
over a mile in distance. Consumption of any items purchased from said trips are
fair game. Editor’s Note: Liquor stores are
tallied as grocery stores.
5) When a close friend or relative is on vacation
Keep in mind, this counts even if
said friend or relative isn’t staying with
you
6) If anyone you have ever met is currently in Hawaii
And yes, this includes those folks
you know that have residences there. You should celebrate the fact that they
are abiding in an island paradise, and live vicariously through them. Pizza can
be deceptively tropical.
7) Holidays
Any and all holidays, religious,
government observed, and those appearing only in fictional works, up to and
including your own imagination
8) Egg Nog
Because, Egg Nog. If egg nog is
involved in anyway, drink your fill. I suggest garnishing it with bacon, but to
each their own.
9) You went to the gym
Good for you! Getting
into that sweat-drenched meat market is half the battle. Scoff at those scrawny
mortals who didn’t even have the energy to leave their warm and cozy couch. Be
aware, visits to the gym include driving by, and/or entering any store located
in the same strip mall as a gym.
10) You’ve met a professional athlete in
person
Remember, above all else, greatness
is contagious. You need not work towards perfection to achieve it, merely touch
and grope it in your grubby little hands. AND, let’s not forget professional athletes
include; circus performers, gamblers, dog walkers, and anyone that works for Wal*Mart.
