Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts

Monday, September 26, 2016

Better Than What?

About a week ago I was at work. The night started out normal enough; some light cleaning, doing the dishes, folding laundry. Returning the same resident (we’ll call him ‘Larry’) to his bed in order that he go to sleep approximately 50 times in a span of 2 hours, because he has no short-term memory to speak of, limited cognitive focus, and has trouble sleeping due to the bevvy of psychotropic drugs he is prescribed. As you can see all very typical, mundane things.
Oh, perhaps I should mention I work in a group home for the developmentally disabled.  
It’s not a bad gig most of the time, in fact quite the opposite. I work third shift, I clean, do some meal prep or cooking, laundry and other household chores. The members I serve have issues ranging from cerebral palsy, to epilepsy, to complete visual impairment, among others. Of the 3 boys, who are all high school age, most have several of these disorders on top of one another, and all are non-verbal. These things withstanding they are a pleasure to be around. When they smile, it’s brighter than you or me could ever hope to match. When they laugh it’s without the weight of past disappointments, regret or disillusion. It’s really beautiful to experience first hand.
However, let’s get back to Larry for a second. It was a Friday night, during which he’s amped up because he knows his mother comes to pick him up on Saturday. He gets excited and has difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep.
This night, on the 50th trip back to his room I was walking him down the hall to tuck him in, I detected a wall of the foulest smelling odor I could imagine. Not a literal wall, mind you, purely figurative, let me tell you though the scent was very real; it was absolutely horrid.


(Warning, Warning!, WARNING: really disgusting material forthcoming)


I turned on the light in Larry’s room and discovered several piles of feces, one of which he had tried to hide unsuccessfully under his bed. I calmly and promptly sent Larry to wash his hands while I cleaned his room. After slapping on the most stylish pair of rubber gloves I could find, I went about the nasty work. First, I had to (Editor’s note: some material redacted due to graphic nature) #$%#$%#$%#$% #$%#$% #$%#$%, and of course it was squishy. Then, I needed to #$%#$%#$%#$% #$%#$%#$% #$%#$%#$%#$% making sure to take care of the big parts first. Finally, for the drops I #$%#$%#$% #$%#$% #$%#$%#$%.
Clearly, you can imagine how disgusting it must’ve been.
Now as revolting as that might seem, again I want to remind you what I said earlier still holds true: Getting to work with these kids, and seeing them experience what I imagine is the purest form of happiness in existence is the reward here.  
So I wrote (and re-lived all that) just to write this: Cleaning up shit is still better, and more rewarding than working at my last job...
...which was what you ask?
Bank of America.



Monday, July 25, 2016

All the Times

When was the last time you cried?

Have you blocked it out? Have you never? Or at least it’s nothing you’d admit to?

However, can you recall the last time you smiled? When you laughed last?

I think to some extent we all hope and pray for a life less ordinary, not thinking as we do that less ordinary may not always be positive. We crave action, adventure, love, lust, passion, fame, fortune…All the while thinking that when we get them it will ultimately lead to satisfaction, the satiating of some primal thirst, our idea of happiness.

After some thought, I think that this might be a misguided way to demand drama, to call for misfortune. The most troubling piece of the human condition is its addiction to fickleness. We are junkies for stimulation and agitation. We are quick to leave what’s comfortable and content for the mere empty promise of a thrill. When that thrill fails us, we are then left cowering with regret.

Again, when was the last time you cried?

Was it because of someone else? Perhaps it was. Even so, it likely in no small measure the indirect terminus of decisions that you yourself made. Decisions that came about because you weren’t happy to begin with, you shunned contentment and went out on your own, with the name of exploration on your lips, but perchance something very different in your heart.  

Remember this the next time you feel that phantom of the rambler try and take your hand. Seeking you when times are not necessarily bad, but even simply the mundane. It will whisper that things can be more exciting elsewhere. It pours lies into your waiting ears, making you forget that what you now have was at one point everything you ever wanted. And maybe still is.

The person that seeks respite from a life without trouble will undoubtedly find it.. It’s an unfortunate fact that we have to take the bad with the good, otherwise the good would be the mundane, and become lost in the everyday. Recall that whether great, horrible, or indifferent, all the times of your life matter. In an incalculable and cosmic way, the sum is greater than the parts.

There, now you’ve cried for the last time.