Some might call me acerbic; some might call me cynical or jaded. Others still might call me quick clever, or dare I say it even kinda funny. At the very least I know returning to an office setting has definitely jogged my wit.
Here are a few snippets of conversation I’ve recently engaged in with some of my office mates, enjoy!
CONVERSATION 1
Co-worker #1: “I like your tie.”
Me: “Of course you do.” (followed by casually strolling away)
CONVERSATION 2
Manager who thinks he’s funny: (joking with me about my productivity) “And that’s why you’ve been voted our most capable volunteer ever.”
Me:“I’ve also been voted most likely to take your job.”
CONVERSATION 3
Gossiper Co-Worker: “Why did you decide to leave your previous job?”
Me: “I thought volunteering for the state would be the next best thing to unpaid vacation.”
CONVERSATION 4
Micro Manager: (after giving me a task that consisted of counting out stacks of brochures and items to be mailed) “Now do you think you can handle this? It should take you about 2-3 hours.”
Me: “I’ll have it to you in 30 minutes- 40 tops.”
Micro Manager: There’s no need to rush.”
Me: “Though I am always in haste, I am never in a hurry, just like all the actual employees here.”
CONVERSATION 5
Bro-worker: “So bro what do you want to be when you grow up?”
Me: “Smarter than you. Oh wait, already checked that box.”
CONVERSATION 6
Party Planner Co-Worker: “Do you want to be a part of our Secret Santa?”
Me: “No, I don’t believe in either one.”
Party Planner Co-Worker: “Huh?”
Me: “Keeping secrets, or Santa. I don’t believe in them.”
CONVERSATION 7
Party Planner Co-Worker: “Do you want to be part of our holiday potluck?”
Me: (staring wryly) “Really think before you answer this: Do you really want to eat something I’ve cooked?”
Party Planner Co-Worker: “I’ll put you down as a no.”
CONVERSATION 8
Concerned about my social Status Co-Worker: “Don’t you want to eat lunch with us?”
Me: “What gave you that idea; the fact that I am sitting in a blind corner, as far away from you as possible?”
Concerned about my social Status Co-Worker:“Yes.”
Me: “Well there ya go, also how did you find me?”
Concerned about my social Status Co-Worker: “You are so funny.”
Me: “I wasn’t kidding.”
Here are a few snippets of conversation I’ve recently engaged in with some of my office mates, enjoy!
CONVERSATION 1
Co-worker #1: “I like your tie.”
Me: “Of course you do.” (followed by casually strolling away)
CONVERSATION 2
Manager who thinks he’s funny: (joking with me about my productivity) “And that’s why you’ve been voted our most capable volunteer ever.”
Me:“I’ve also been voted most likely to take your job.”
CONVERSATION 3
Gossiper Co-Worker: “Why did you decide to leave your previous job?”
Me: “I thought volunteering for the state would be the next best thing to unpaid vacation.”
CONVERSATION 4
Micro Manager: (after giving me a task that consisted of counting out stacks of brochures and items to be mailed) “Now do you think you can handle this? It should take you about 2-3 hours.”
Me: “I’ll have it to you in 30 minutes- 40 tops.”
Micro Manager: There’s no need to rush.”
Me: “Though I am always in haste, I am never in a hurry, just like all the actual employees here.”
CONVERSATION 5
Bro-worker: “So bro what do you want to be when you grow up?”
Me: “Smarter than you. Oh wait, already checked that box.”
CONVERSATION 6
Party Planner Co-Worker: “Do you want to be a part of our Secret Santa?”
Me: “No, I don’t believe in either one.”
Party Planner Co-Worker: “Huh?”
Me: “Keeping secrets, or Santa. I don’t believe in them.”
CONVERSATION 7
Party Planner Co-Worker: “Do you want to be part of our holiday potluck?”
Me: (staring wryly) “Really think before you answer this: Do you really want to eat something I’ve cooked?”
Party Planner Co-Worker: “I’ll put you down as a no.”
CONVERSATION 8
Concerned about my social Status Co-Worker: “Don’t you want to eat lunch with us?”
Me: “What gave you that idea; the fact that I am sitting in a blind corner, as far away from you as possible?”
Concerned about my social Status Co-Worker:“Yes.”
Me: “Well there ya go, also how did you find me?”
Concerned about my social Status Co-Worker: “You are so funny.”
Me: “I wasn’t kidding.”
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