Paradigm: After the End – Part V

Slowly, I blinked awake. My eyelids fluttered, allowing my pupils to dilate, my surroundings steadily coming into view in spite of that A.M. haze. The first thing I saw was Toledo. She was there in my room making her rounds. I was surprised not to see Dr. Shavers. He had turned out to be a nice guy and all, but he didn’t compare to the high calorie ocular treat that now eyeballed what might’ve been the reams of paper that made up my chart.

                “Good morning Patient Burke. Feeling better?” Her smile was detached to the point that I thought it would fall from her face.

“Hi. Good to see you, umm Dr. Toledo was it?” Play it cool. As if you didn’t make every effort to memorize her name, and perhaps every other detail you could soak up from the first time you met. “Not that I am disappointed to see you, but where’s good ole’ Doc Shavers?”

“Dr. Shavers has been reassigned. He’s been moved to another wing. I’ll be tending to you from now on.” As her words hit the air, I remembered the day before. Hanson…his words…feeling ill…fainting.

I hoped my eyes did not give away the alarm that was now blossoming inside me. “Oh, that’s too bad. He was a good guy.”

Toledo halfheartedly nodded in agreement, and went back to perusing the machines to which I was attached.

“ Say Dr. Toledo, if you don’t mind. Dr. Shavers and I sort of had this routine. He’d let me sort of ask questions about what has went on after the plague. Would you mind doing the same?”

Dr. Toledo, who had been only partly paying attention before, stared back at me quizzically.

“What’d the media call this plague?” I asked.

Dr. Toledo’s brow furrowed, “What plague?”

My brain felt like it had been dropped down into the elevator shaft that was my stomach. “The terrorist attack that was launched against the U.S.?”

“Patient Burke, I am quite sure there’s been no plague. I hope you haven’t let that run in with Hanson yesterday put your imagination into overdrive.”

The breath of life felt as if it had been sucked from my body. Barely audible I mumbled, “No, no, no…” then quickly, and loud enough that my sudden change in volume gave Dr. Toledo a start, “Where’s my cell phone? Give it to me right now!”

I expected her to refuse. To say I didn’t have a phone, to say I wasn’t permitted to use such a device. However, to my surprise and satisfaction she walked towards the door, “Certainly, let me go grab it.”

The few minutes she was gone were terrifying. I thought she might come back with strapping orderlies who would administer some form of electroshock therapy. Or worse yet, not come back at all, leaving me trapped in this room to die slowly of thirst and insanity. I even thought about escape. But when I attempted to rise from the bed I found my legs were feeble. The bedrails were down, and I tumbled onto the floor just as Dr. Toledo returned.

She rushed to me, but only after setting down her charts and other accoutrements on the counter by the door. “Patient Burke. You have to stay in bed you’re not well.”

She guided me back up, and into the bed.

Fear had nested inside my heart, I began to panic. “Just give me my God Damn phone!”

“Mr. Burke that’s quite enough!” Dr. Toledo stepped back, retrieved a small black device from the counter near her things, and brought it towards me. “There’s no need to be belligerent.  You can have your phone, its right here.”

I snatched the phone from her hand, and she withdrew as if I was contagious. I looked at it, it was in fact my phone. The screen was pitch black, dark as the rubberized case that surrounded the phone. “It’s not on?” I looked to her.

I noticed Dr. Toledo had now retreated to the door.  Her face gave away nothing. No hints if she was enjoying this, she was wearing a mask of professionalism that I couldn’t see past. “Now Patient Burke, an active cell phone would be outside of the rules for our patients. However, you may entertain yourself with that one as you see fit. ”

In spite of feeling puny, I sat up. Never before had I contained such a violent, fearful storm inside me. I threw the phone across the room; it clattered against a wall, and onto the floor. Dr. Toledo didn’t even flinch.

I began to sob, and cry out as loud as I was able. “YOU GIVE ME A WORKIN’ PHONE RIGHT FUCKIN’ NOW OR I SWEAR I’M GOING TO LOSE MY SHIT!” My intent was to be demanding, in control even, but the act only produced snot-filled gasps and barely intelligible words.

Dr. Toledo frowned, and then fully opened the door allowing the two burly orderlies I had imagined before to enter the room. As they entered, she exited.

Both men were hard looking, stone faced with gruff military haircuts. But that didn’t scare me. What got me shakin’ was what the lead orderly held in his hands:  A crisp and clean set of restraints, the metal clasps and buckles glinting in the room’s fluorescent lighting.

I was forced down flat against the bed by one man, while the other orderly readied the restraints. I tried to resist, but it was futile. They were huge, and my body was so ineffectual.  I reached for the lamp, they pinned my arm behind me. I tried to wriggle free and slip away, the vice-like arms drew tighter around me in response. They smothered my every action, stopping them nearly before they began.

***

I slept again, this time from medications meant to soothe me, rather than my own frail condition. I’d like to say I was finally able to dream, through my subconscious wrap my head around where I was, what I was doing in this place. But there was only darkness. In retrospect, I think it might be the drugs. They muffle most everything and completely muzzle creativity.  I cannot fathom how deeply I was under, how long I was gone. When I did wake I was greeted by a more familiar face.

“Good Day Burke.”

“Doc?…Dr. Shavers?”

He seemed pleased to see me, “That’s right. How have you been?”

“I need to talk to you…but I thought you were transferred?”

Dr. Shavers smiled. Suddenly it didn’t seem so practiced or pleasant on him. “I’m still around Mr. Burke. I’ll always be around. After all, nothing really goes on here without my say so.”

Though I wasn’t really sure what that meant, I nodded, too weak to do much else from my prison of a mattress. “Doc, can I ask you a question. For old time’s sake?”

Dr. Shavers cleared his throat then nodded expectantly.

“You told me once that you were straightforward. I need you to answer a question, honestly please.”

“Of course.” He waved a hand, motioning me to begin.

“Am I dead, dyin’, drugged or just crazy?”

”Know that I don’t jest when I say, all of the above.”

“What is this place?”

“You’re in a facility that houses individuals that don’t agree with the current vision." Shavers’ final word was drawn out for effect.

My eyes felt heavy now, but I persisted, “Did the world end?”

“For you and those like you, yes. But simply put, the world changed Mr. Burke. It advanced to a state that some lower humans didn’t want to accept. Perhaps couldn’t accept.”

“What do you mean? Why all the mystery, hiding the truth…” my own voice should’ve scared me now, raspy, low. The voice of an aged troubadour preparing for his last tune.

“Human life as it stands has been perfected. The world has united to create a utopia of sorts. That has come about through…elimination… of those that might’ve been opposed or partially opposed to the idea, this vision. Though we have had some success with reintroducing some of those that oppose our ideals with the use of certain pharmaceuticals, we keep these details from those we are attempting to help, as the truth has proved to undermine the medication's impact.”

Sounds around me were now becoming faint. The blip and beep of the EKG machine seemed across a distant ocean. “Who’s opposed?”

“Most average people actually. Then you still have your less desirable characters; criminals, philosophers, radicals, free thinkers.”

I thought I was matching his tone, but my words were now a whisper, “What was I?”

There was amusement in his voice, “Mr. Burke does it matter? In the end, no one person can stand against The Paradigm.”

I wanted to point and shout, but quickly found I could no longer feel my hand. Coldness had crawled over me, numbing my body as it went. “Not. One. Person.” I spoke faintly, letting my burdensome eyelids close for the last time.