The "Truth" About Morality, OR Would I Lie to You?

            Before answering questions about moral behavior I believe it’s important to define what we consider moral in order to provide context for the answer. In my mind, for this exercise let’s say moral behavior is behavior that causes no harm to self or others, outside of that of microaggressions. The reason I am defining moral behavior this way is due to the fact that in general most people take part in mildly immoral behavior everyday. This may be simply to receive a desired effect from another person or to spare another’s feelings (Ley, 2017). Essentially, most of the immoral deception we engage in has its roots in some misguided altruism. As one might expect, this low-level type of immoral behavior is inconsequential, even if dishonest.  

            I absolutely think that most people (myself included) believe that they behave morally “most” of the time. To add to this point, Ley also notes that most liars truly do believe the lie as they tell it, or at least wish it were true (2017).  There is a famous quote that has been attributed to many, but it is something to the effect of “We all believe ourselves to be heroes of our own stories.” This is due to our typically egoistic nature, as we view the world, and our actions through our own lens, and it is difficult for many to step outside of this. Summarily, most of us can find a reason to justify even the poorest of moral behavior. Hence, the lack of empathy we see in many corners of our modern world. When viewed through this stripped down real-world perception; there are no heroes or villains, just those with different agendas[1].   

           I believe most people decide what is morally just based on their own internal rationalization. As alluded to earlier, it becomes easy for us to justify action (or inaction) based on our feelings and interpretations of what is going on around us or happening to us. This personal opinion is also shored up by Tsang who concludes immoral behaviors are decided upon through multifaceted cognitive processes as well as environmental or situational pressures (2002).

          In conclusion, what is moral is different and even ever-changing for each of us through the course of our lives. What makes up your moral code?

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[1] Yes this is a quote from Daredevil, not academic in nature but still worthwhile for this discussion.

References

Ley, D. J. (2017, January 23). 6 Reasons People Lie When They Don’t Need To. Retrieved January 16, 2019, from Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201701/6-reasons-people-lie-when-they-don-t-need

Tsang, J.-A. (2002). Moral rationalization and the integration of situational factors and psychological processes in immoral behavior. Review of General Psychology, 6(1), 25–50. https://doi-org.lopes.idm.oclc.org/10.1037/1089-2680.6.1.25

Cover Up

“Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back.”

            For years I’ve walked the earth with (essentially) those words scribbled on my arm. When I first heard the line I was mesmerized by it, the way it was written (presumably by David Milch), and the way it was spoken on screen by Ian McShane lit some type of fire in me. It was relatable, tough, steeped in self-reliance and organic.

             

            I tried to defend the existence of these words on my body via the thoughts in my head. I oft repeated to myself that believing in this ostentatious line from a short-lived (yet brilliant) TV Western was justified.

Not THAT Justified

                                                           

            I would tell myself that if approached from the perspective of doling out pain to those that have hurt others, it was somehow okay. I don’t think I believe that, maybe I never did. It’s also interesting that I have tried searching for a photo of this tattoo and I have come up empty. Could it be that even when I got it I immediately knew it wasn’t me?

            At any rate, in the ensuing times I feel I have realized that there is enough  pain in the world, and adding to that (even concerning those that “deserved” it) wasn’t necessarily the only available, or even best option.

            As of yesterday I began the process to erase that statement from my flesh. I suppose, overwrite is a better description. In its place will be an ominous black and grey clock tower representing that everyone’s own personal Doomsday clock is ticking away, a reminder to carpe those diems, or YOLO or whatever the hell people say now. A not-so subtle cue to try as much as we can to stop those clock arms in their tracks, or reverse them if we can - or maybe it’s just a new fuckin’ tattoo.

I'm (Pro)Found

Hot damn have these last few years been infused with self-discovery and self-exploration.

I’d have put an explanation point after that statement, but to be honest, it wasn’t exciting- it was frightening. Was it worthwhile? Yes. Was it hard? Hell yes. Was it uncomfortable? Absolutely. Would I trade it for anything? Fuck no.

I learned I am in no position to gauge the worthiness of another man (or woman, or anyone else for that matter). You might read that statement and think “Well, ya YOU had to learn that but ME, nah I already know that.” Ya, sure YOU do pal. Good luck to you, see ya in the funny papers.

I learned that I have capacity to change for the better and I have the right to seek self-improvement. During that time I also learned those around me can do the same, no matter where they started from. It was a hard pill to swallow that someone else’s opinion could have relevance other than mine.

I learned that the truly intelligent never stop learning…from anyone, anywhere, at anytime.

I learned that no person is defined by one act within their lives, nor several. We are defined by what we do to make this world better than we found it.

I learned that I am not perfect, and really no one is…though I had that one put together a while back.

I learned that I am not the smartest person in the room… Well, to be honest, I’m still working on that one, and also changing the actual rooms I hang out in helps quite a bit.

When I started this journey, I thought that human existence was a highly overrated phenomenon. Now I have come to learn that empathy is what is really a truly UNDERrated phenomenon.

This is to everyone that I have crossed paths with in the last two and a half years that has made me pause and ask myself, “Could I do better?”

I am here to tell you: You can make it, you can do better, and to hell with all the people that think otherwise.

The Prayers You Didn't Know You Needed

It's been a rough week.  

First, Monday greeted me with some political-correct, snowflake, triggered horseshit at work. By Tuesday I found out that I was at least 1 course short of graduating with my Criminal Justice Minor. Finally, mid-week was capped off by some human splooge tossing a full Polar Pop 32oz beverage at me from his car window while I was running. 

Yes, it's true, I lead an exciting life. 

Luckily, in all these instances I have the certainty that I'll be okay. One of these scenarios I escaped completely unscathed as the Polar Pop cup missed me completely.   

While I am slightly worried about the issue with my Minor, I have confidence that it will be worked out one way or another.  

As far as the problem with work, miraculously I wasn’t a part of the issue referenced, so I appear to be "safe" from the administrative wrath. Of course, that being said, I plan to stand with my team in defiance of such ridiculousness.  

All this mess got me thinking: How many times have I been spared being the victim of some negative event?  

You might think this is overly deep thinking for a cynic such as myself. It may surprise you to know that I actually am fairly spiritual. I don't mean "spiritual" in the current vernacular of rubbing crystals, shopping at Whole Foods and refusing to wear deodorant (not that there's anything wrong with that).  

What I mean by spiritual is I pray to God, but I am far from religious. In fact, I think religion is the worst thing to happen to faith in the history of humankind.  

After that Circle K Polar Pop cup missed me, I prayed. I thanked God for that cup missing me as I thought about what might've been inside it, what the person that threw it might have been thinking.  

This then brought further self-reflection: How many times have I been spared being the victim of some negative event that I wasn’t even aware of?  

Was I almost the victim of a robbery but the would-be perpetrator lost their nerve? Was I nearly killed in a traffic accident but the driver that caused it returned home because they forget something?  

The possibilities are endless and they really make you think. They also make you pray a thankful prayer.