90 Days (AKA Marital Bliss)

When I think about how happy I am, I think of you.

When I think of you, I think of how different we are.

When I think about our differences, I think about your strength.

When I think about strength, I think about our love.

            Based on my past (or even my present) I cannot type this and proclaim to now be some expert on marriage. That assertion would be laughable. However, what I have learned is what works.

            There’s a lot that’s obvious to me after 3 months of marriage to you. Foremost among them, and as evidenced by the above half-assed haiku, I am no poet. The main thing though is that one key reason for a marriage to fail can be traced back to not knowing what you have until it’s gone.

            Even before our wedding I knew what I had in you. Someone that would support without nagging. Someone that would care without being critical. Someone who would love without judgment.

            I am free to be myself, even as that person subtly changes over time. That is something that I have never experienced with anyone else. The only expectations are: That I love you in return and make you happy. God help me if I ever falter on either of those two points.

            People always ask me, “David how will I know when it’s the right time to get married?”

            Nope wait, hold on - this has actually never happened. Alternatively, I insert myself in to their conversations about marriage straight away and tell them they are asking themselves the wrong question, and instead should be asking; “Have I found the right person to get married to?”

            People sometimes say, “Relationships are hard, relationships are work.” These people are wrong. If you are with the right person, relationships are easy. Getting along, living and loving together is effortless. You’ve reminded me what love is, and that marriage exists as an expression of and dedication to that rare kind of love.

            If I could ask anything of you after 3 months it would be simply; keep setting the tone, and I will keep doing my best to respond in kind. But as a reminder I am a slow learner when it comes to these matters, so please be patient.

Always know that I love you.

Calling Out America

Originally Written 05/14/2013

This isn’t about being treasonous. This is about honesty. Let’s face it America needs someone to sit it down, tell it what it’s done wrong, and then put it into time out. The list of wrongs isn’t all that excessive. However, they have become interwoven into our psyche as individuals and its going to take a stern spanking to get them out. As citizens OUR transgressions are bold, in so far as they have become unconsciously routine.

This didn’t happen when we were standing together at the helm of the country, guiding it to a better tomorrow. This happened because we were doing something else entirely. We were in line getting our grande caramel mocha. This happened because we were busy keeping up with the Kardashians. We were distracted by the lights of the city…the depthlessness of the internet…the lure of self-gratification.

           

The first is a slap in the face of the strength this country was founded upon, for America has lost its will. At one time we were a nation of hardened people willing to traverse an unforgiving frontier in covered wagons. This was done without any guarantee of prosperity or profit. No one complained. When men went overseas to fight during World War II, women took up the mantles of the dingy and dangerous jobs they left behind. No one complained. Democrat and Republican alike held each other in mourning when John Kennedy was murdered. No one paused.

            Now we refuse to stand together on whether or not homosexuals can marry. The country complains about shit jobs being done by immigrants, which they themselves wouldn’t perform for 10 times the minimum wage. Today, our grease slathered rotund faces can’t find the energy to go to the gym for twenty minutes a day. We’ve lost our will. Our hunger to produce by need has been replaced with gluttony to consume by greed.

            Some would point the finger at religion for all of this. Claiming that belief in varying Gods, or no belief in God at all, has led us to this point. In a certain light that’s true, but not in the way that spending Sunday morning in a church pew is going to cure. Money is God and credit is His savior son. Therefore the truth is a growing number of people (survey says: all of them) worship every day, all day. But make no mistake; their focus isn’t a typical deity. No, America hasn’t lost its belief, merely shifted it. Once upon a time we believed in ourselves, now we believe in self.

            Americans serve themselves. We delude ourselves into satisfying our every whim. It’s just too damn easy. For several generations, we haven’t had to work hard, and those that do invest their time and money into the greatest commodity; themselves.

Finally, in a time where every side has an agenda, one can’t even tell who the bad guy is anymore. Worst of all is no one is even trying. Arguments made up of inaction of political rants fill our space; everyone that once cared or has the power and means to take action has lost interest.

For the past fifty years, America has claimed the Easy Street of the Earth as its residence. We do so as the rest of the world- a world that hasn’t had much of a view (let alone access) to the high and rolling hills on Easy Street- work harder and more efficiently with less.

            But don’t worry we’re Americans - someone else will pick up the slack.