Ahh, it’s that time once again. Time to brush
the dust off the old resume and start pounding the pavement, shaking hands and
smiling my best smile all in the hopes that I can earn a living like a typical
adult.
But
it’s really none of that stuff anymore, is it? You don’t have the luxury of
meeting someone (anyone?) face-to-face in order to show off your personality.
You have the luxury of “saving time” (or saving someone time) by doing
everything via the modern personal computer (Hold applause, no really).
Thanks
to the advent of the internet, I’ll edit my resume electronically. All the
while keeping a keen eye peeled to make sure my key words match their those
used in the job description at a rate of 80% or more. From there, before I even
meet a prospective hiring manager, I will answer a 100 question “personality
test” that basically gauges whether or not I’m a sociopath, likely to steal
office supplies, or generally be an unproductive waste of space once hired. And
in my favorite part of the process, I’ll get to upload my resume and then on
the very next screen, fill in each section of my resume in overly complex
little boxes that require the most minute details. If I miss anything, or have
any typos, I get to see that glowing red box of idiocy if formatted even the slightest
bit outside the website’s parameters.
I
can chose to check boxes that tell a company my ethnicity, military and
disability status, or I can keep it a secret. Because maybe I’m afraid I’m too Caucasian,
or not Caucasian enough (Just what the in the blue hell is “Caucasian” anyway)?
Luckily,
if I don’t get the job, I’ll get that important hope-crushing email that
proudly declares “We have decided to pursue other candidates”. Worse yet, I may
never hear anything...ever. In fact, I am still waiting on that mortgage broker
gig from 2001.
Speaking
of that, how many high quality candidates, hard working folks, are lost in the
information algorithm that is the online job hunt? Do you feel like you’ve
missed out on jobs, careers even, because you checked the “wrong” answer in
response to a question? Or simply the computer program couldn’t exactly
reconcile your qualifications with that of the position you were applying for?
I know I often do.
It
has been said that looking for a job is in effect a full time job. And often
times it does feel like a full time job, minus the pay, human interaction, and
personal sense of satisfaction or accomplishment.
