90 Days (AKA Marital Bliss)

When I think about how happy I am, I think of you.

When I think of you, I think of how different we are.

When I think about our differences, I think about your strength.

When I think about strength, I think about our love.

            Based on my past (or even my present) I cannot type this and proclaim to now be some expert on marriage. That assertion would be laughable. However, what I have learned is what works.

            There’s a lot that’s obvious to me after 3 months of marriage to you. Foremost among them, and as evidenced by the above half-assed haiku, I am no poet. The main thing though is that one key reason for a marriage to fail can be traced back to not knowing what you have until it’s gone.

            Even before our wedding I knew what I had in you. Someone that would support without nagging. Someone that would care without being critical. Someone who would love without judgment.

            I am free to be myself, even as that person subtly changes over time. That is something that I have never experienced with anyone else. The only expectations are: That I love you in return and make you happy. God help me if I ever falter on either of those two points.

            People always ask me, “David how will I know when it’s the right time to get married?”

            Nope wait, hold on - this has actually never happened. Alternatively, I insert myself in to their conversations about marriage straight away and tell them they are asking themselves the wrong question, and instead should be asking; “Have I found the right person to get married to?”

            People sometimes say, “Relationships are hard, relationships are work.” These people are wrong. If you are with the right person, relationships are easy. Getting along, living and loving together is effortless. You’ve reminded me what love is, and that marriage exists as an expression of and dedication to that rare kind of love.

            If I could ask anything of you after 3 months it would be simply; keep setting the tone, and I will keep doing my best to respond in kind. But as a reminder I am a slow learner when it comes to these matters, so please be patient.

Always know that I love you.

(I'm Not) Valedictorian

            Sadly, I was not chosen as valedictorian and even with a 4.0 GPA. No one tapped me on the shoulder to ask me to speak at my upcoming graduation.  And no, I am not here to complain about that at all. What I thought would be interesting though is to write a speech as though I were addressing a teeming mass of young adults on the cusp of turning those tassels

            So ya, no one asked me to do it but yet here it is anyway…

            Hello fellow Sun Devils. Hello class of 2018. HELLO TO THE FUTURE!

            (Hold for applause)

            Ya know two years ago I gave up a lot to go back to school. I gave up seniority, money (Oh so much money!) and comfort of the known.

            However, what I found was much greater. I found my purpose. I found meaning in my life, and what I believe to be the lives of so many others.

            What is that meaning you ask? Helping those that need it.

            For you see, I have come to realize that not every addict is hopeless, not every homeless person is on the streets because they chose to be, and not every person with money is happy. The strange part about it is, inherently, I already knew all of that, it was as though I just needed to prove it to myself.

            And the beautiful thing about this is that standing here today; all of you have helped me. Because you see, a great deal of my cynical world view was fueled by the notion that no one else cared, so why should I?

            What I have witnessed during my time at ASU (hold for applause) is a generation of individuals who desire a change for the better. This has given me- once the most cynical of cynics on the earth- hope.

            The strength and determination that all of you have shown, and have shown me, has been my fuel when I thought I had no more fuel in the tank. It has reminded me that the evening world news is not necessarily representative of the world itself. 

            We social workers are taught not to give advice, however I am going to break that maxim just slightly for this one occasion…

             As you go out into the world following today, as you serve the populations that you hold dear- whether they be the elderly, those without shelter, the differently-abled, those in recovery, distressed and oppressed peoples- or simply those that have encountered a rough portion of road in life, please do one thing:

            Think critically as an individual, but think for the greater good.  

            Thank you! We now return you to your regularly scheduled graduation ceremony!

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