Common Courtesy

As most of you that live and breath in this world are likely already aware, common courtesy ain’t so common. Yes it’s true, it’s true, much like much like the ever elusive common sense, common courtesy seems to be in short supply.

I’m sure I am not the first person to notice this, but what concerns me isn’t that I’ve noticed it at all, it’s the fact that I feel like people are disregarding it more often.  

Now I will admit that this could be because of all my highfalutin Social Work schoolin’ but regardless, the lack of simple acts of decent behavior towards others has become more of a concern to me as of late.

I can tell you that I am more aware of people stepping onto an elevator (or the light rail) without waiting for those exiting to get clear, doors not being held open for others (and I don’t mean just women), and of course people’s atrocious driving habits.

That’s not all, obviously there are a hundred more examples out there that I’m sure you and I could point to ad nauseum in order to complement those I’ve already mentioned.  

The question is twofold in my mind: 1) What draws us to disregard others so blatantly in some cases? and 2) What can we do to curb it?

Before I can answer that, let me be clear that I am not envisioning some moronic utopia (or dystopia, depending on your point of view) where we are bending over backwards and kissing everyone else’s ass. I’m just looking for a little bit of leeway in this regard.

So to begin; why are we so callous in our daily living?

I think this is the answer easily found: We are by nature self-absorbed. We humans, by and large are only concerned with our fate, our appointment, our schedule and our schemes. By extension, we may be peripherally invested in the welfare of those we are close to (family, friends etc.) but sadly, when push comes to shove we are all looking at our own progress with tunnel vision. We are focused only on that most current goal, whether it’s a destination, meeting time, or some larger objective. Our target is the light at the end of the tunnel. Sewer rats also do this.

Catch my drift?

Some of us might even have the skewed perception that something as mundane as to give up a seat on a bus for an elderly person is a sign of weakness, or at the least violates the old adage of “I was here first”. If you have read any of my ramblings before, you know I take issue with people that have confused being tough with being an asshole, I think that applies here as well, maybe more than we’d like to admit.

But to state it plainly, we have selfish tendencies.

Which brings us to #2; how do we combat this?

Everybody be cool.

Simple in theory, this one, but in practice not so much. It takes concentrated effort to be considerate of someone else’s feelings, space, rights, thoughts, beliefs. It’s almost counter-intuitive to put someone else’s welfare before your own. Chalk that up to a millennium of ancestors whose two main concerns were walking upright and self-preservation I suppose.

At any rate, this one comes down to thinking before you act- yes, yes I realize that everyone (myself included) loves to turn down the volume on their brains and rely on auto pilot. However, trust me, if you are actively focused on the environment around you, you are naturally going to become more aware of those around you, and how simple, everyday acts that require very little effort can help make everyone around us a bit more comfortable, and that’s not a bad thing.

Bundled with this awareness of others is another enemy of common courtesy; rushing. We could all use a little slow the fuck down.

I struggle with this myself, but everyone gets caught up in the moment and what the end result should be for them. Sometimes, I personally get so tangled in my own thoughts and to-do list that my regard for others goes right out the window (If I cut you off in traffic, it was my type A personality, and I’m sorry!).

I guess we can end with the summation of: Don’t be a dick.

There you have it, we’ve just solved all of the world’s most minor problems, now everything else should just fall into place.
That’s it for this week, gotta go, I have to go to the grocery store, buy 40 items and cut in front of a lady purchasing only 2 things in the express lane.

My Brother's Keeper

Why is it most people these days are so unlikely to give one another a leg up?

I mean what are we afraid of?

Is it the possibility that in giving someone a helping hand we’re competing for limited resources and to help them gain expertise in turn helps them better compete for resources we too might want for ourselves?

Is it the aspect of taking the time to actually help that deters most people from assisting others?

Or is it just pure selfishness? To put it another way; we’re more into taking care of our own business than taking care of anyone else.

I just threw out a lot of questions, rapid-fire right there. And now that I’ve done that, I can answer: Truthfully, I have no idea why most humans can deny another the a simple act of helpfulness, let alone outright ignore the suffering of others.

Right about now you might be thinking; What’s got me on this tangent? (Yes, I know yet another question.)

That I can answer: I was reading an email from a fellow writer where she was discussing how she is constantly promoting and giving shout outs to people on social media, but seldom gets anything of the sort in return. (I’m sure some of you are thinking about social media and how fickle and self-serving people can be, I’m looking at you Twitter.)

At any rate, I figured it might be time I return the favor for someone that’s been supportive of my writing for many years, so here goes:

The fellow writer I mentioned earlier has been relentlessly promoting her books for a long time. The fierceness with which she believes in herself and supports others is only rivaled by her ability to see the positive in any experience. This shows in the passion she has for her writing. Emmy Morgan has penned tales of her main character; Desiré, and drawn from her own experience as a transwoman to create a timely and compelling story. And while I would be the first to admit what I know about a transwoman’s struggle in modern America wouldn’t be enough to fill Donald Trump’s gloves, Emmy’s energy gives both life and voice to her character in a way few could.

All that being said (or typed rather) as most of you know that read this blog regularly I do not “sell” anything here. My goal is simply to write and to have people read my work. It’s because of that stance that I won’t post direct sales links to Ms. Morgan’s titles, however in place of that I’d urge you check her out on Twitter and from there you can explore her fiction if you so chose:

@EmmyMorgan76

Oh and by the way, take a few minutes and help someone do something today. Not because you want to make yourself feel better, or because you expect anything in return, but because it’ll make the world a little better off.