Self-sufficient

 The darkness was pierced by two headlights. Briefly, as they cut across the shoulder of the highway the light gives way to the shape of a person bowing and twisting against the lug nuts on the rear passenger side of a not-so-new anymore Honda.  

Motorists continued to pass by, and either in spite of the cold or because of it, no one stopped to help her for a long while. Her name is Adira, a name that her parents told her was rooted in strength. 

As she continued to struggle to remove the last lug nut, a red pick-up truck coasted to a halt alongside the shoulder. Without taking her eyes off the task in front of her, Adira noted it was one of those trucks that was bigger than needed for everyday driving. She also noticed that even in the dim light of this winter evening, the truck was pristine. No gray sheen of caked-on road snow, nothing. Through her peripheral vision Adira watched the truck come to a halt a few feet behind her own car.  

It wasn’t long before a man stepped out on the passenger side of the vehicle. Adira, still staring at that last lug nut, but now crossing the tire iron to her right hand, noticed the man was clean cut, and wore expensive looking leather coat. She imagined he knew little to nothing about cars, even in the simple realm of tire changing. 

"Need some help?" He cried out over the din of the passing traffic.  

"No thanks," on her knees, Adira finally turned to face the approaching man. 

He still moved towards her, brown dress shoes crunching on the snow that had accumulated on the side of the road. "You seem to be having trouble." 

"I'm fine, really." 

Still the man moved forward, "I can help..." 

Not even a second passed before Adira had drawn a revolver from her waist, leveling it at the unknown man. "Tell your story walkin' buddy. I'm fine. Save your heroics for the next damsel." 

The stranger's eyes widened, hands popping up in front of him, waving. "Whoa, ok, ok! Sorry, I'm going." He began backing away.  

Adira heard the man's car door slam shut, soon after the engine revved hard and the truck sped off the shoulder and back into the night. 

Truth be told, Adira didn’t know if the man had meant ill or not, but she was not going to chance it on this night. After all, she was already late for Christmas dinner with her parents. In addition to her parents passing on the history of her name, they had also told her that fortune favored the prepared.  

She returned to that final pesky lug nut, applied the tire iron, and cranked as hard as she could. It moved.  

Trauma vs. Resiliency (Resiliency > Trauma, Pt 2 of 2)

Part II - Resiliency > Trauma

In my previous rant, I mean blog, I put forth my views on the focus on microaggressions as sources of trauma. The below entry can be read as a stand alone piece, though If you missed it you can read the previous topic here.

“Innate resiliency trumps the day-to-day microaggressions that we encounter.”

It has been well-documented that those with higher resiliency score (as per the generally accepted Connor-Davidson Resiliency Scale) are better equipped to handle the stresses of life (http://www.connordavidson-resiliencescale.com/about.php ). As more research is done, empirical data shows that the more resilient a person; the stronger their interpersonal relationships. The more likely they are to have a solid sense of self, and they are also more apt to understand when to seek the help of others. Resiliency has even been purported to impact an individual’s sense of humor (http://www.ingentaconnect.com/contentone/prin/ed/2017/00000138/00000001/art00003 ).

The potential exists that if within the helping professions, we over-emphasize the detrimental effects of trauma, as being greater human resiliency we are creating a negative feedback loop of sorts. Meaning, by exerting our expertise as professionals and insisting we highlight only the harming effects of trauma we are short changing the healing attributes of resiliency and the very innate strengths of our clients.

By focusing on the negative aspects of trauma we begin to erode the positive skills that we are supposed to be fostering in our patients. Not only that, we add to the victimhood culture that has recently begun to permeate modern society (https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/09/the-rise-of-victimhood-culture/404794/  ).

The more as professionals that we feed into the thought of trauma, the more we undermine the resilience of those we serve. Further, this process of focusing on microaggressions as the source of toxic trauma becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

As such, rather than being a “Social Justice Warrior”, one who rides the bandwagon and focuses on the negative, I will instead choose to promote the strengths of those that I come into contact with.